Ahhh, this, and our conversation the other day, invite me to return again to the liminal space of grief which is a hallowed, no-time space between departure and arrival where untethered from what has been (little d-death) you become available for what is becoming.
Our conditioned minds always want to make a situation like that a grand allegory and we impose that grandiosity on too many situations that can’t carry the weight of that imposition. So they collapse into the neat little familiar boxes we call life.
Not you. You continue to remind us that life - big L and little l - occurs in the cracks, in the space in-between. Not to live there, but to rest there a bit longer, to allow ourselves to be moved when and how it wants to move us. Leaving the “it”ambiguous here for however “it” shows up for you.
And now I am struck in the writing of this that that way of being, that knowing, comes from being tempered by life and death and the in-between. It is a path of eldership that all those seeking a deeper understanding of their humanity (humanity meaning what it means to be a member of the human species among all the other species), must encounter. And I will leave it there, for it continues to unfold, but now the words are too limiting. So I'll leave it to unfold for whoever encounters them.
Grateful for the modeling and the gift of all the conversations. Asé
…and now I need to write again because you blessed up the space with this offering❣️ So glad you’re here. I appreciate this reasoning so much. So much!
So of course, I had to go back and clean it up a bit, because full transparency, I'm typically tapping these responses on my phone in bed at 2am trying not to disturb my partner. Still, it's when I'm the most lucid in that space between the worlds which is my happy place as I'm sure you understand.
aaaahhhhh so gorgeous, Akilah. thank you for this gift, and so timely. I'm reminded of Andrew Garfield's line that grief is "unexpressed love."
I particularly appreciate the connection between grief and slowness (and savoring...) as I wade into this topic (feeling!) with more intentionality. I realize I've tended to see grief as a distraction, as a bogging down, and that my own resistance is preventing me from completing the cycle, honoring what has been lost, and moving forward. work in progress 😬
You’re welcome, Brian! I’m glad this found you, and I can so relate in terms of my defaulting to naming grief as a distraction. I’m unlearning that out loud and am glad it resonates with you too!
This ..... "What I’m learning is that it's not just about the physical deaths beyond our control. It's about the psychological ones we let happen. The ones we can even facilitate. The intentional, non-physical, “little d” deaths. Death of ideas and habits that determine how I hold power, and how I align with love and liberation, or how I sometimes end up going in the opposite direction of all of that." .... speaks to me and has been so much of my learning since starting a Hospice in the mid 70's. Love the reminder and the framing of these concepts Akilah!
So glad it resonates, Teri-love! Thanks for your comment. And you know you're the sisterfriend I was talking about from 2019, right?! I continue to be so interested in the ways you're living into the work you started so many years ago!
Ahhh, this, and our conversation the other day, invite me to return again to the liminal space of grief which is a hallowed, no-time space between departure and arrival where untethered from what has been (little d-death) you become available for what is becoming.
Our conditioned minds always want to make a situation like that a grand allegory and we impose that grandiosity on too many situations that can’t carry the weight of that imposition. So they collapse into the neat little familiar boxes we call life.
Not you. You continue to remind us that life - big L and little l - occurs in the cracks, in the space in-between. Not to live there, but to rest there a bit longer, to allow ourselves to be moved when and how it wants to move us. Leaving the “it”ambiguous here for however “it” shows up for you.
And now I am struck in the writing of this that that way of being, that knowing, comes from being tempered by life and death and the in-between. It is a path of eldership that all those seeking a deeper understanding of their humanity (humanity meaning what it means to be a member of the human species among all the other species), must encounter. And I will leave it there, for it continues to unfold, but now the words are too limiting. So I'll leave it to unfold for whoever encounters them.
Grateful for the modeling and the gift of all the conversations. Asé
…and now I need to write again because you blessed up the space with this offering❣️ So glad you’re here. I appreciate this reasoning so much. So much!
So of course, I had to go back and clean it up a bit, because full transparency, I'm typically tapping these responses on my phone in bed at 2am trying not to disturb my partner. Still, it's when I'm the most lucid in that space between the worlds which is my happy place as I'm sure you understand.
I completely do!
aaaahhhhh so gorgeous, Akilah. thank you for this gift, and so timely. I'm reminded of Andrew Garfield's line that grief is "unexpressed love."
I particularly appreciate the connection between grief and slowness (and savoring...) as I wade into this topic (feeling!) with more intentionality. I realize I've tended to see grief as a distraction, as a bogging down, and that my own resistance is preventing me from completing the cycle, honoring what has been lost, and moving forward. work in progress 😬
you prompted me to return to an earlier musing of my own on the topic... as always, i'm better at preaching than practicing :-( https://citizenstout.substack.com/p/finding-light-in-darkness
You’re welcome, Brian! I’m glad this found you, and I can so relate in terms of my defaulting to naming grief as a distraction. I’m unlearning that out loud and am glad it resonates with you too!
This ..... "What I’m learning is that it's not just about the physical deaths beyond our control. It's about the psychological ones we let happen. The ones we can even facilitate. The intentional, non-physical, “little d” deaths. Death of ideas and habits that determine how I hold power, and how I align with love and liberation, or how I sometimes end up going in the opposite direction of all of that." .... speaks to me and has been so much of my learning since starting a Hospice in the mid 70's. Love the reminder and the framing of these concepts Akilah!
So glad it resonates, Teri-love! Thanks for your comment. And you know you're the sisterfriend I was talking about from 2019, right?! I continue to be so interested in the ways you're living into the work you started so many years ago!